At first glance, the title of this post might seem daunting. But I assure you, it’s true to my experience of healing. Healing isn’t a goal with a finish line—it’s a journey we get to show up to every day. And I say “get to” because I’ve come to see that almost everything in life is a choice. After birth, the only certain thing is that we will eventually leave this world. Between those two points, life is a series of choices we get to make.
One thing we can always count on is change. We can never step into the same river twice, even if we take the same path, because the river is always flowing, and so is life. In every situation, the one thing we control is our response and our actions. This is why I don’t see healing as a goal. Goals imply destinations, places to arrive. But healing is more about habits—daily practices that bring us closer to ourselves over time. Pain is universal, a connection we all share. The ego tries to isolate us through our individual experiences of pain, making us feel as though our struggles are unique. But one truth I hold onto: none of us are the first to go through what we’re going through, and we won’t be the last.
Suffering, however, is deeply personal. And it begins to lift the moment we take ownership of what we’re experiencing. Ownership is the starting point for change and healing. When we accept where we are, we can begin to choose actions that alleviate suffering. In my journey, I’ve found that healing has both a pushing and a pulling force. The push might feel difficult because we’re not always ready to move in that direction, while the pull is the inner drive that keeps us moving forward. For me, the push came from my family—I wanted to show them I was more than my suffering, to restore pride to my family name. The pull came a few years later, when I connected with my intrinsic value and saw how I wanted to live moving forward.
For many who start their healing journeys, there’s a surge of excitement—a “pink cloud” effect we often speak of in recovery. Everything feels brighter at first because we’re emerging from a dark place. But sustaining that feeling takes more than motivation. It takes commitment—a personal contract we make with ourselves to build the habits that keep us on course. There will be times we stumble or stray from the path, and in those moments, we have a choice: to slip back into old patterns or to recommit to our potential.
Every day we’re given the chance to start fresh, to embrace the gift of choice and to honor the life we’re building.
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